[Research Paper] Getting Rid Of The Limiting Beliefs That Hold You Back So You Can Get To Your Ideal Life!
by Carmen Lett, Master Transformational Coach
Limiting and Negative beliefs affect many women endeavoring to reach their ideal life and goals and are the cause for lack of attempts and failure. Scientific theories, such as the Theory of Planned Behavior and other research conducted specifically in the Weight Loss field, indicated and support the idea that attitude and intent have a cause and effect on action and success toward goals. My Coaching Model, “RISE”, provides tools and systems to enable women to identify underlying Negative and Limiting Beliefs and eradicate the power and affect those beliefs have on their subconscious and conscious attitudes toward present realities and future expectations, allowing them to experience transformation.
Through various life influences many women develop Limiting beliefs about themselves and the world around them, leaving them negative, stifled and stuck. This report will show how these Limiting and Negative Beliefs affect decision-making follow through and success or failure in people’s life endeavors. In addition, this report will give steps to successfully expose and eradicate Limiting and Negative Beliefs and replace them with new positive and affirming beliefs. It will be discovered that Transformational Coaching can accomplish this through specific systems and tools to make changes that will transform thinking, belief systems and ultimately lives!
Statement of the Problem:
Limiting and Negative Beliefs keep many women from reaching their potential and ideal life.
Significance of the Problem:
Many women have a dream and vision of their ideal life. They dream about it as little girls, aspire to it as teenagers and spend their adult lives wishing to live it out. Many women find themselves in a place of “If only”: if only I were, if only I had, If only I could. Some women try and succeed and they are the envy of every other woman. Other women try and fail, sometimes once and sometimes over and over. Other women never are able to step up and out to try at all even though they secretly have a desire to do so. What do all these women have in common? They have an underlying system of beliefs about themselves and the world around them that influence their ability to aspire, pursue and achieve – or not. Limiting and Negative Beliefs are an underlying stream of thought that affect many women who desire to reach their ideal life or goal, but never are able to see lasting results or success because these beliefs hold them back. No matter what area they are pursuing; career advancement, life and seasonal transitions, weight loss or a personal goal and dream, Limiting and Negative Beliefs have the ability to sabotage the greatest of efforts and the best of systems for success.
Although success in every area of desired change hinges on one’s conscious and subconscious beliefs, one specific area we can clearly see a pattern of the impact of Limiting and Negative Beliefs is Weight Loss. It is not uncommon to find women who have an ideal weight goal try one Weight Loss program after another, spend a lot of money and exerting endless time and energy on various plans but repeatedly fail, quit or not maintain lasting change. In fact, a statistical study in 2012 showed that over 100 million people make four to five attempts per year at Weight Loss, spending over 20 Billion Dollars. Out of those 100 million, 85% of them were women. These 85 million women consumed Weight Loss products, joined gyms, hired trainers, took diet pills and even had surgeries. However, researchers have found that less than 20% of those women actually achieved and maintained their Weight Loss goals.(1) With these statistic of failure, Weight Loss can be used to analyze the powerful effect Limiting and Negative Beliefs have on success.
There has been much research into success and failure ratio of women pursuing Weight Loss that they have begun to look beyond the programs and fads themselves and are looking into the underlying causes of failure. Dr. Amelia Hollywood of University of Surrey, after concluding a study on the poor success of Weight Loss medications (2) stated, “Unless we get the psychology right and change people’s beliefs about themselves, their eating and the way the drugs work, this medication is often going to produce disappointing results.” She concluded that patients must look into their belief systems and their outlook on losing weight or the medication will be useless.
Melinda Blackman and Colleen Kvaska in their book, “Nutrition Psychology: Improving Dieting Adherence,” (3) concluded that “beliefs play a central role” in the ability to see and to have a positive outcome. In their explanation of Theory of Planned Behavior (Ajzen) (4), they clarify that a person’s attitude toward themselves, their goal and the actions needed, can put limitations on their success and ability. Self-confidence is a central component for any behavior change because people’s behavior is strongly influenced by their confidence in their ability to perform that behavior. These studies make a solid case that Limiting Beliefs are a paramount influence and must be identified and addressed in regards to perceived behavioral control and confidence toward the feasibility or likelihood of success in any given area of goal attainment. It can also help us conclude the theory that it takes more than ability, resources and desire to reach and maintain a level of success. Thereby it is believed that positive intent and attitude are a decisive factor in goal attainment not just in the Weight Loss field but all other areas.
Steps to solve the problem:
As a Transformational Coach, I can help look below the surface causes and provide women with tools and systems to identify and get rid of Limiting and Negative Beliefs that inhibit them from succeeding. In my Coaching Model “RISE” there are 4 steps to transforming Limiting and Negative Beliefs. This four-step model has two phases: Revelation and Renovation. Through simply having purposeful conversation and using a few coaching tools that assess and address problem areas the “confident you” can be restored to any woman in Transformational Coaching.
Phase One- Revelation!
When a woman is not able to find success attaining her ideal even after many attempts or has not been able to simply try to move forward, it is vital she begins to look deeper than the surface explanations. The first step is to recognize that there most likely is an underlying reason and shift her focus to it. Focus is taken away from the goal and actions toward the reactionary thoughts and motivations. Through a series of powerful coaching questions and using laser coaching tools that the Coach uses in conversation with the Client, she will begin to become self-aware, listen to self-talk, pay attention to her root desires and needs and observe her reactions. All these will begin opening her awareness to her subconscious belief system that is dictating her ability to take action and succeed, where before it was overlooked or not acknowledged.
After she is able to become introspective and open to a new focus she will begin to articulate intents and attitudes she identifies that stem from her basic human needs of love, safety and belonging. This step is based on the Theory of Planned Behavior which identifies the degree to which a person has either a favorable or unfavorable perspective of the outcome of an endeavor and the motivational factors that influence a given behavior toward the actions required. As a Coach I will mirror her self-talk giving opportunity for her to identify Limiting and Negative Beliefs which influence her intents and attitudes. Once she is able to identify those beliefs, the focus is narrowed and placed on each Limiting Belief. At this stage, not only will she isolate and identify the Belief but will have a new awareness of the basic human needs from which it stems, which will be helpful in her impending empowerment.
Phase Two- Renovation!
Sort, Source & Siege:
Taking one Limiting and Negative Belief at a time, the Client will be encouraged to track the belief to a past event, circumstance, perception or emotion where the Limiting and Negative Belief began or has it’s rational grounds. Those grounds indicating a basic human need, the source, that the Limiting and Negative Belief is attempting to protect. Attention is given to that motivation of basic human need and how the formed Limiting Belief is now being projected on present and future events, comparing it’s rationale. Using coaching tools, she can then consciously siege and cut off the influence the Limiting and Negative Belief has on her current attitude and reaction regarding goals, endeavors and circumstances. The goal of this step is to discredit the Limiting and Negative Belief and it’s power over the “now.”
This step now brings total transformation! Once the Limiting and Negative Beliefs are identified and discredited, the Client replaces the old belief with new empowering beliefs. These empowering beliefs are affirming, positive and produce expectation of limitless possibilities before her and her ability to succeed. She brings into her view a perspective of opportunities, resources, support and inner resolve that she can meditate upon and fill her subconscious and conscious with daily until it is internalized as a new source of motivation, attitude and behavior. It is in this stage that she can also now look at possible obstacles and challenges and project an attitude of resilience and forging ahead instead of recoiling and quitting. New attitudes, motivations and reactions follow her new-formed positive belief system equating a transformation!
The purpose of Transformational Coaching is to make the difference for women struggling with attempts to attain their goal. Most women without Transformational Coaching do not reach a level of awareness and discovery of the underlying causes of their lack of confidence or their inability to move forward and succeed. When a woman goes through this
In this model of Transformational Coaching for Limiting and Negative Beliefs it is assumed that the Client has already formed a general vision for their ideal life or goal and has a basic desire to move forward from their current condition or state toward a goal or vision. In addition, the Client has already attempted action plans toward a given goal with repeated failure or they are unable to initiate action toward the success of their goals and the Client is now seeking an answer or system to initiate change.
A limitation of this Coaching is if a goal or ideal a Client is pursuing is an absolute impossibility evident by the Client’s lack of physical resources, ability or contrary circumstance. Other limitations in Transformational Coaching for Limiting Beliefs with this model may be that the Client needs professional psychological therapy to deal with deeply rooted behavioral problems more complex that Coaching can relieve. It will be the Coaches responsibility to recognize these limitations and refer the Client to a professional therapist if needed or use powerful questions to lead the Client to alternate paths of an ideal goal or endeavor.
Summary and Conclusion:
Though almost every woman has a vision of their ideal life and goals it is not their ability or resources that keep them from attaining it, it is Limiting and Negative Beliefs. Research supports the theory that positive intent and attitude are a decisive factor in every area of goal attainment. Transformational Coaching provides techniques and tools that can identify and eradicate these Limiting and Negative Beliefs. Through my Coaching Model called “RISE”, I can lead women through a 4 step process of Revealing, Identifying and Sorting-Sourcing-Sieging the old Limiting Beliefs and Empowering the Client with new positive and affirming beliefs. Through these steps new transformed attitudes and actions are manifested resulting in new success toward goal attainment! Clients who enter Transformational Coaching with an emphasis on getting rid of Limiting and Negative Beliefs are usually those who already have an ideal vision and goal but are restricted in their access to it and are open to looking for new perspectives and solutions.
Definitions of Terms:
Attitude: An expression of favor or disfavor toward a person, place or thing that affects a person’s behavior.
Behavior: The way a person functions and reacts.
Belief: Acceptance that a statement in true or right or something exists and is reality.
Conscious: Aware and able to understand what is happening around you.
Empower: To make someone stronger or more confident especially in controlling their life.
Ideal: A principle or value an individual pursues as a goal.
Identify: Establish or indicate who or what.
Intent: Resolved or determined to do something
Limiting: Restrictive weakness, lack of capacity and inability.
Psychology: The scientific study of mental functions and behavior.
Recognize: Acknowledge the existence and validity of a thing.
Renovation: The process of improving damaged structure.
Revelation: To reveal and disclose something before not realized.
Sabotage: Disruption or destruction or to hinder normal operations
Siege: To isolate while continuing attack.
Sort: To distinguish a category of things.
Source: The place where something begins.
Systems: A set of detailed methods and procedures
Subconscious: the part of the mind of which one is not fully aware but which influences one’s actions and feelings.
Theory of Planned Behavior: A Psychological theory of behavior (abbreviated TPB) which links beliefs and behavior. The concept was proposed by Icek Ajzen to improve on the predictive power of the theory of reasoned action by including perceived behavior control.
Transformational Coaching: A form of Life Coaching which encourages self-responsibility of change through changing one’s thoughts and subsequently actions leading to change in one’s current circumstances.
Tools: Methods and models used to lead a Client through the Coaching process.
Sources of Data:
1. John LaRosa of MarketData; National Weight Control Registry; American Society for Metabolic & Bariatric Surgery
2. 123 Obesity Surgery The Journal of Metabolic Surgery and Allied Care ISSN 0960-8923 OBES SURG DOI 10.1007/s11695-014-1428-2 The Impact of Psychological Support on Weight Loss Post Weight Loss Surgery: a Randomized Control Trial -Jane Ogden, Amelia Hollywood
3. “Nutrition Psychology: Improving Dietary Adherence” by Melinda C. Black, Colleen A. Kvasksa, Copyright 2011 by Jones and Bartlett Publishers, LCC
4. Icek Ajzen, Department of Psychology, University of Massachusetts at Amherst, Amherst, Massachusetts 01003
Recommended Coaching Model: Trasnformational Coaching Model R.I.S.E.
Master Transformational Coach